I’ve been on a mission lately: configure out how to be the best mom I can be.
I’ve honestly been a little stressed out lately, been pushed to my limit actually. I knew that being a mom to multiples was go
ing to be hard work. I knew that having a 3 year old and a newborn at the same time was going to be a challenge. I also knew that time would be limited, sanity stretched, and patience would be tested.
What I didn’t know, was that even though I knew what to expect, I was completely unprepared. The last 2 months, AddyBaby is now 2 months old, has been the most stressful 2 months of my life. I always thought I was a good mother, strong, and patient, but my children have pushed me to my limit.
These past 2 months I have felt defeated, literally pulled my hair out, and have cried myself to sleep while my poor husband feeds the baby trying to figure out what else he can do to help me. The sad part is, my kids are just being kids:
wanting attention, trying to express themselves, and just being a 3 year old and newborn.
Honestly, and I hate saying this, I feel like parts of me have been chipped away, and I don’t know who I am as a woman or a mother. I feel like, like I’ve just lost it. I haven’t been able to get anything done with work, writing, blogging, planning, nada. Every second someone needs something from me. Time for myself has completely vanished. And it’s hitting me harder than I thought it would.
I don’t think I am depressed. Maybe borderline postpartum depression, but I believe I just haven’t found a system that works for us yet.
I’m determined to be the best mom I can be. Right now I don’t think I am. Thank god I have this blog to write about parenting and its stresses. My husband knows I’m having a hard time, and he’s helping me as much as he can, but I
know if I vented everything to him, he’d stress out just as much as me.
I want to be the strong mother. To hold steady in times of stress and hold still in times of demand. Right now, I’m not t
here, but I’m determined to be.
Thank you for letting me open up.
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Dropping by from the tea party and apparently just in the nick of time. I promise you that this difficult time shall pass and that it will only be a blip on your radar screen before long. My kiddos are 4 years apart and I was completely convinced that I would never work again when for the first three months after my second was born I could not manage to get out of the house before 10 a.m. (this was on a good day). I went back to work soon afterward and I managed without issue. You will get the hang of it…give yourself a chance.
You also might want to schedule some YOU time on a daily basis; even if it is only 30 minutes when your hubby guards the kids and you do whatever you want. Even short periods of time can be refreshing. I can remember being very jealous of my hubby when he got to go to work; as I told him at the time, he got to go and rest…I never seemed to get one. There is light at the end of the tunnel…I promise!
ZippyChix4´s last blog ..Is Cruising Designed for Moms
Thanks ZippyChix4. I guess my biggest problem is that I put this image in my head about how things were supposed to work and how I was going to smoothly handle it, and when my reality was the same, I completely lost it.
I’m exactly the same way, I’m so jealous that my husband gets to go out of the house and work. I mean, who’s jealous of people actually working
Hi! Stopping over from SITS~ Hang in there chica! I am sure you will find a system that works for you. I agree with the post about scheduling some YOU time
It is awesome that you are a working mom of two and going to school!
mary catherine´s last blog ..Free Subscription of Tennis Magazine
Thanks so much Mary. ME time is scheduled now
lol
I’m going to be there soon, and one thing that I remember from the days that my son was a newborn is how hard those early months were – with just the newborn. But even though it was extremely hard eventually everything figured itself out and a rhythm was established. It won’t be like this forever, it will all work out for you and probably pretty soon!
Stacy´s last blog ..Blogs Not To Miss!
Thanks Stacy. That’s exactly what I keep telling myself. And every day it has been getting better so my husband and I are getting the hang of this! lol
Hello, Stepfanie: I am ashamed to say that I didn’t even know you had a personal blog. I don’t know why, I am here, though. And very happy to get to know more about you now. Thank you!
Hi, stopping by from the LBS! Love your blog, and your writing! And I’m sure it will all fall into place very soon. All the best!
Anne´s last blog ..If My Pump Could Talk