I’ll Figure This Out, Even If It Kills Me

by Stepfanie B on July 25, 2010

I’ve been on a mission lately: configure out how to be the best mom I can be.

I’ve honestly been a little stressed out lately, been pushed to my limit actually. I knew that being a mom to multiples was go

ing to be hard work. I knew that having a 3 year old and a newborn at the same time was going to be a challenge. I also knew that time would be limited, sanity stretched, and patience would be tested.

What I didn’t know, was that even though I knew what to expect, I was completely unprepared. The last 2 months, AddyBaby is now 2 months old, has been the most stressful 2 months of my life. I always thought I was a good mother, strong, and patient, but my children have pushed me to my limit.

These past 2 months I have felt defeated, literally pulled my hair out, and have cried myself to sleep while my poor husband feeds the baby trying to figure out what else he can do to help me. The sad part is, my kids are just being kids:

wanting attention, trying to express themselves, and just being a 3 year old and newborn.

Honestly, and I hate saying this, I feel like parts of me have been chipped away, and I don’t know who I am as a woman or a mother. I feel like, like I’ve just lost it. I haven’t been able to get anything done with work, writing, blogging, planning, nada. Every second someone needs something from me. Time for myself has completely vanished. And it’s hitting me harder than I thought it would.

I don’t think I am depressed. Maybe borderline postpartum depression, but I believe I just haven’t found a system that works for us yet.

I’m determined to be the best mom I can be. Right now I don’t think I am. Thank god I have this blog to write about parenting and its stresses. My husband knows I’m having a hard time, and he’s helping me as much as he can, but I

know if I vented everything to him, he’d stress out just as much as me.

I want to be the strong mother. To hold steady in times of stress and hold still in times of demand. Right now, I’m not t

here, but I’m determined to be.

Thank you for letting me open up.

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Getting a J.O.B.

by Stepfanie B on July 22, 2010

So lately I’ve had a couple of interviews and job hunting. But wait, don’t you work from home writing? What about the cleaning business? Well with the cleaning business, I’ve scaled down a little bit mainly because of AddyBaby being born and not having time to market, do estimates, etc. Since I did that, it takes some time to build a new client database, so I’ve been trying to get back with that. With writing, it’s also pretty much marketing yourself and trying to land gigs, which is a little harder with such great writers out there.

The thing is, with all of these things I do at home: working and even going to school, sometimes you just need a little time outside. It’s also really hard to get work done at home because you need to have the people in your home understand that you are working, not just on the computer surfing the web. Do they still say surfing?

So also to try and pay off some credit card debt, I’ve started looking for an outside job. With my associates in teaching, I’ve been looking at some pre-school positions, which would also be great for TrulyBear to get in as well.

I’ve had a couple of interviews this week and I’m just waiting to hear back from them.

I also have a n interview Monday for this photography job that I was working at before Truly was born. I loved working there, so that would be exciting to do again just part-time. Also, the free pictures were hilarious!

Anywho, just letting you know what I’ve been busy with!

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“You Want How Much?”

July 8, 2010

My daughter has been asking me lately if she can go to school. My 3 year old, of course. I’m not sure if she got the idea from watching TV or talking with my younger sisters, but the only thing that has been on her mind is going to school. I’ve never had her in [...]

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Learning To Say No, Changing Your Direction, & All That Good Stuff

July 1, 2010

There are 3 things that I look for when I am trying to figure out what kind of work and projects to take on: Does this interest me? Is this something I will really enjoy doing? Will this give me the right kind of publicity? How will this boost my platform for writing? How will [...]

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Oh No … The Battle of The Bulge is ON

June 26, 2010

It’s still here. I thought it would have left a couple of weeks ago. For some reason, it has been so attached to me, that it thinks it can just stay here forever. Sure, I haven’t really addressed it head on. I’ve told it over and over again that it is not welcomed here, but [...]

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5 Habits of Highly Effective Moms

June 18, 2010

What makes an effective mother? That depends on how you define effective. Effective to me means keeping your children happy, while keeping your sanity in tact. Here are my 5 habits that I beleive makes an effective mother. 1. She puts her kids needs before hers. This one can be taken the wrong way. We [...]

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Waiting For Hubby @ 1:00AM

June 13, 2010

Things I do to pass the time waiting for Hubby to get home from working out of town: 1. Take a bubble bath. With Truly’s barbies and toy boats. Not by choice, but they are just all over our huge tub. 2. Eat rice cake after rice cake. For being flavorless, they sure are addicting. [...]

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Mommy Credentials

June 8, 2010

I’ve been trying to keep busy planning our first conference for the Lady Bloggers Society in November. Planning this was something that I’ve been wanting to do for the longest time, and I’m excited that it is finally happening. Contacting different venues and sponsors for the past 48 hours straight has made me feel like [...]

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